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Unfollow that Twitter loser above this tweet you had to read one to many tweets to get to me. Next time I tweet it might be very important.
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2
Being inactive for 1 year and a half nearly,I don't understand why my blog still gets more subscribers everyday.Is it a message? :)
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3
So i tried to put on fake eyelashes and my eyelashes are longer than the fake ones. Score for me? I think so.
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4
I live in my own little world; fucking deal with it and shut up.
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5
#NoOffense ladies, but if you are an 8 or a 9, hit the gym. Ya boy Claim only fuckin' with them #dimes. #biddies #hititfromtheback
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Just donated a stack of autographs to the homeless. Goddamn it feels good to #give. Changing lives, kid. #homeless #claimfans
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7
Perhaps we should make people pay to interview so that they don't waste our time like so many do now.
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8
#1 if I say hi, I'm not hitting on you. #2 if I was I'd be better than any man you ever had. So go away, bitch
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9
I'm employed again! Haha. It's way too easy for me to get jobs.
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10
March is going off!! Just had to knock back 3 jobs in the last hour-hate that. This is such an all or nothing business.
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11
Man! Why did I add so much more info to our SEO training class workbook? 177 pages take forever to print.
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12
I've noticed alot of tweet's mention how "popular" "famous" or "awesome" the person is. Tweeters = Douchebags. I signed up just to say that.
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13
OMG i was saying how i couldn't afford the gas to fly daddy's jet to the riviera this summer, and this barista totally rolled her eyes at me
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14
I love how soft babies skin is. It's like they're made entirely out of nutsacks.
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15
I think that I should be paid by the number of timezones in which I am required to attend meetings.
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16
I started writing today. I think I made a breakthrough because, it felt good.
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17
My off the charts gorgeous wife wakes up says you wanna fool around? Then I'll make some coffee. My life is so much better than yours.
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#Unreal, how many times do I need to go over this? I would never accept a friend request from a lame not on my level, im so #legendary son!
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19
I love how some dudes hate me for dating their fantasy girl, as if they were going to if I hadn't.
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20
Ugh, #thatssoannoying when one of my fans recognizes me and just WONT leave me alone. I guess I will finally admit it... I'm famous. Ugh.
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21
I gave my cleaning lady a raise today, even though she didn't ask, as my own little contribution to fighting the recession.
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22
Went to the gym this morning. As I left, everyone said I was the best!
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23
Shit. Facebook won't let me add any more friends. Guess I've reached my quotoa....
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24
228 this morning. Rock-hard abs. Looking good. I'd fuck myself if I were flexible enough.
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25
I been saying Ima be on the New York Times Bestsellers list for how long now