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Got my blue Land Rover Defender back. Those who have roof racks must remember they have them when pulling into municipal parking garages.
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2
Rare, but when you write a song and record it within 6 hours, you sort of listen to it as a gift. Like getting to know a different you.
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3
Hey, it's weird. Know what else is? Two homes. Millions of fans. Getting to be an artist for life. I think I'll jump on the treadmill. :)
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4
So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation's tapestry.
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5
I'm a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!! (of 1,090,466, seventeen stand and applaud wildly)
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6
Ryokan - a traditional japanese hotel. Paper doors. Tatami mats. Garden. Rain. Thunder. Miles Davis. Scotch. Notebook. Soul on 10.
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I am contractually obligated through Empire Leisure, GmbH to post at least one tweet a day. So here it is, you humps!
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@SmeltzieLA You, sir, are shallow and pedantic. - (love that...) We must hang soon.
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I love how some dudes hate me for dating their fantasy girl, as if they were going to if I hadn't.
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10
I will not tinker with my loins. I will go back to sleep, but I will not tinker with my loins. Sto- no. NO. No tink- STOP thinking about it.
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11
The ultimate live tweet: peeing in a club bathroom, but not without facing the mirror and mugging as if to say "hey, you're doing great."
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12
Last year P!nk kneed me in the nuts outside Chateau Marmont. I was pissing blood for days. Did I make a scene?
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13
Can somebody please call Amex and get me a replacement card?
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14
http://bit.ly/197ITg I am but a vessel for inspiration. Every idea must be investigated or I have neglected the gift. (I am an idiot.)
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70% of People.com readers said they would not date me. By the numbers: 13m site viewers-86% female= 11.1m-70% 'no' = 3.33m who WOULD!!
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16
I'm always tempted to speak Japanese to the staff at Sushi restaurants, but I imagine that's got to be extremely annoying desu.
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17
My dad is in the studio making production notes on my vocals. Normally a no-no but he is technically the most executive of producers.
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18
There's nothing like clubbing with your business manager. You can turn a table upside down and then be like, "pay for that."
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19
This is the cutest tweet ever. Hi. RT @Kruleheart Eatin lunch by myself, but listening to @johncmayer, so i dont feel alone.
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20
I've got two women texting me they want to come over. What's that, Modern Warfare 2? You understand me? Done. Night, ladies!!!
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21
I wish the mob were still around. "Mr.Mayer would prefer you not photograph him today," or "Mr.Mayer has taken a shining to your wife."
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22
Youtube: "This video is no longer available due to your high level of personal interest in wanting to see it."
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23
It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it's gotten out of hand and I've created somewhat of a monster.
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24
Re: 420, I don't smoke pot anymore. I just pay a dude 50 bucks to come over, press lightly on my chest and tell me all my ideas are awesome.
