• Vote up 3 Vote down
  

  It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it's gotten out of hand and I've created somewhat of a monster.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:58pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 0 Vote down
  

  Youtube: "This video is no longer available due to your high level of personal interest in wanting to see it."

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:44pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 4 Vote down
  

  I wish the mob were still around. "Mr.Mayer would prefer you not photograph him today," or "Mr.Mayer has taken a shining to your wife."

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Wed Dec 2, 2009 1:23pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 10 Vote down
  

  I've got two women texting me they want to come over. What's that, Modern Warfare 2? You understand me? Done. Night, ladies!!!

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Wed Dec 2, 2009 1:19pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 3 Vote down
  

  This is the cutest tweet ever. Hi. RT @Kruleheart Eatin lunch by myself, but listening to @johncmayer, so i dont feel alone.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Thu Oct 1, 2009 8:59pm UTC – 2 Comments
• Vote up 10 Vote down
  

  There's nothing like clubbing with your business manager. You can turn a table upside down and then be like, "pay for that."

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:55pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 2 Vote down
  

  My dad is in the studio making production notes on my vocals. Normally a no-no but he is technically the most executive of producers.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:32pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 1 Vote down
  

  I'm always tempted to speak Japanese to the staff at Sushi restaurants, but I imagine that's got to be extremely annoying desu.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:31am UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 0 Vote down
  

  http://bit.ly/197ITg I am but a vessel for inspiration. Every idea must be investigated or I have neglected the gift. (I am an idiot.)

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:00am UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 3 Vote down
  

  Can somebody please call Amex and get me a replacement card?

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:29pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 1 Vote down
  

  Last year P!nk kneed me in the nuts outside Chateau Marmont. I was pissing blood for days. Did I make a scene?

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:35pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 12 Vote down
  

  70% of People.com readers said they would not date me. By the numbers: 13m site viewers-86% female= 11.1m-70% 'no' = 3.33m who WOULD!!

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:21am UTC – 2 Comments
• Vote up 6 Vote down
  

  The ultimate live tweet: peeing in a club bathroom, but not without facing the mirror and mugging as if to say "hey, you're doing great."

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:51pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 2 Vote down
  

  I will not tinker with my loins. I will go back to sleep, but I will not tinker with my loins. Sto- no. NO. No tink- STOP thinking about it.

  Tweet this Tweeted by JohncMayer – Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:05am UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up -3 Vote down
  

  @SmeltzieLA You, sir, are shallow and pedantic. - (love that...) We must hang soon.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Mon Jun 1, 2009 2:52am UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 14 Vote down
  

  I am contractually obligated through Empire Leisure, GmbH to post at least one tweet a day. So here it is, you humps!

  Tweet this Tweeted by JohnCMayer – Sun May 31, 2009 7:22pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 3 Vote down
  

  Ryokan - a traditional japanese hotel. Paper doors. Tatami mats. Garden. Rain. Thunder. Miles Davis. Scotch. Notebook. Soul on 10.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Sat May 30, 2009 4:16pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 9 Vote down
  

  So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation's tapestry.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Thu May 21, 2009 2:47am UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 19 Vote down
  

  I'm a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!! (of 1,090,466, seventeen stand and applaud wildly)

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Wed May 20, 2009 8:30pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 1,553 Vote down
  

  I love how some dudes hate me for dating their fantasy girl, as if they were going to if I hadn't.

  Tweet this Tweeted by JohnCMayer – Tue May 19, 2009 8:30pm UTC – 20 Comments
• Vote up 58 Vote down
  

  Hey, it's weird. Know what else is? Two homes. Millions of fans. Getting to be an artist for life. I think I'll jump on the treadmill. :)

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Wed May 6, 2009 10:13pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 28 Vote down
  

  Rare, but when you write a song and record it within 6 hours, you sort of listen to it as a gift. Like getting to know a different you.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:12am UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 3 Vote down
  

  Got my blue Land Rover Defender back. Those who have roof racks must remember they have them when pulling into municipal parking garages.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Thu Apr 23, 2009 10:13pm UTC – 0 Comments
• Vote up 13 Vote down
  

  Re: 420, I don't smoke pot anymore. I just pay a dude 50 bucks to come over, press lightly on my chest and tell me all my ideas are awesome.

  Tweet this Tweeted by johncmayer – Wed Apr 22, 2009 10:26pm UTC – 1 Comments

Twittersphere #tth

• Fireworks exploding in the distance, temporary towers soar #TTH Mon May 21, 2012 1:42am UTC

• We starting to really ball now ! Went 4-1 this weekend #TTH Mon May 21, 2012 12:45am UTC

• The @gutscgurch #tth motorcycle rollout was today. I'm lead pack and all in for changing 2 separate groups, are you? #teamguts Sun May 20, 2012 10:46pm UTC

• Chuck rolling out #TTH to Spanish church http://t.co/G7Bq9AcQ Sun May 20, 2012 6:59pm UTC

• You NIGGAS #TTH Sun May 20, 2012 3:55pm UTC